Sunday, October 29, 2006

Mindfulness Meditation and Mothering


I study and practice mindfulness meditation and have needed to develop and expand my abilities to keep up with my two little spiritual teachers. I just wanted to share some of what I have learned. If you are not ready to learn about meditation
... then this is NOT the post to read.


It is quite difficult for me when I see so many people suffering from stress and anxiety when they have the choice. I want to reach out and help by helping them to learn that they have a choice. However, it seems, what they feel they need is just an empathetic ear and not a lecture. I can understand that, and have needed to borrow someones ear for a while. However it is not the talking about the problem that is the problem. The problem is the anxiety and stress and unhappiness that is overflowing all over the place. I certainly am not saying that I am perfect. They call meditation a practice and that is what you do with it. Practice over and over until it becomes part of you. Then there will be the challenges and tests… helping you to learn more about yourself and realize that the limitations you put on your abilities are just an illusion. Some tests are much harder than others and I have certainly allowed the rug to be pulled out from under me a number of times. Then there are the processes that we just need to go through whether or not you believe it is a teaching that you chose before this lifetime or karma or just a unfortunate event. And then there is the realization that life goes on no matter how you choose to respond to it.


Mindfulness Meditation is when you decide to be watchful and attentive to where your mind is going and to realize that you are the master of your thoughts. Thoughts can become actions and feelings if we so choose to allow that. Or thoughts can be like clouds floating in the sky above you. For example, a dark cloud can blow over you and say, “what if I don’t make rent this month?” You can point at it and say, “Hmm. Look at that thought. That’s interesting, but it is just a passing thought.” ,then let it keep floating away. Or you can sit and analyze it and stress and wonder about the rent and money. I am not saying that you shouldn’t think about your finances. I am just saying that your clouding your mind with it for hours or throughout the day is not helpful.

Your first meditation will involve many distractions. Thoughts will cloud your mind, your mind will try to take over and tell you that it is too noisy or too hot/cold or you are too sleepy/hungry/thirsty. Your mind will lead you to believe that you don’t have time or you are just not cut out for this. THAT is an illusion. That is your mind liking status quo because that is what it knows. That is your mind acknowledging and knowing that something has to change. You have to decide that this is what you are going to do. Instead of making excuses and apologies you need to acknowledge that it is an illusion and decide to meld meditation into your day and your being.

Once you decide to sit down and start practice, it helps to acknowledge the senses. “Oh look…there was another sound/thought/feeling.”, then let it pass like a cloud overhead. When this happens, know that you are not doing it wrong. This is normal. Soon, with practice, it will become easier.

If your mind is really racing you can start with focusing on something peaceful… a picture, a memory, a statue. At times I would focus on a candle or the stream of smoke coming from the incense stick and my breathing. There are more specific instructions that I won’t go into now. Oh by the way…sitting in the spa drinking beer while listening to jazz is not meditating…. It’s chillin’ LOL! It is certainly necessary to relax the body. But just because the body is relaxed and the mind is numbed… doesn’t mean you have found peace.



Centering…
You can start to apply this even before you master it.
You take your peaceful thought, your happy memory and when you feel that you are loosing your peace you stop and refocus on that thought. You experience all of it. You utilize all of your senses to remember it. Then you go on with your day. At first you will do this all the time. But after some practice you will stay centered longer.

Some practices that helped me were yoga and throwing clay. It seems for me, it is far too difficult to stay balanced in yoga or to center my clay when I wasn’t centered or balanced, and I was letting stress or thoughts overrun my mind. Being healthy in all other areas of my life also helped tremendously. Exercise, sleep and eating healthy all help with your practice and give you the best opportunity to find your peace.

You can be physically busy, watching your children, cleaning your house or getting ready to walk out the door, but your mind doesn’t need to be moving as quickly as you. Your mind can be peaceful and you can allow your shoulders to relax and the tension to drain out of you. Life will happen. There will be traffic, there will be flat tires, there will be bumps in the road. That is just normal. That is just life and you need to allow yourself the realization that you can choose how you will respond to those bumps.

If you choose to routinely respond with stress, anxiety, worry, anger, frustration…. Then that is how you will feel. That is how your friends will view you and that is what your children will feel from you. It will spill out all over everyone you know. Even if you think you are keeping it to yourself. You can put on a happy face but you can’t fool your spiritual teachers. Children are intuitive in ways we can hardly comprehend.

Practice and be open to new ways to allow the clouds to fly by. Ohm Shanti.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

TV Time


Madhava 4 1/2 yrs., Shraddha (was 15 months in pic NOW 16 months!) Watching Baby Einstien.

Ok, since this blog is meant to be a type of journal/scrapbook of our family it is fitting to discuss the stuff that just seems so silly to me right now....TV. I know years from now it will be interesting stuff but it is just really silly to me now. First off we USED to have cable (digital even!) Oh how wonderful that was when I was on bedrest with Shraddha and I had an on-screen TV/cable guide and could just click on the shows I wanted to watch!

No, cable for us woodland folks. The techs actually laugh when you ask when it will be available. Apparently, we are lucky the phone and electricity work most of the time. That is... it works when the woodpeckers and squirrels and snowfall and lightening don't interrupt the service LOL!

Anyways.... back to the shows we watch.
Not much really these days. We only have a few channels so I end up watching things I wouldn't normally have. However, this only happens when I am nursing Shraddha to sleep or making dinner.

Game shows.... Deal or no Deal. This is really quite boring, yet I can't seem to turn away.
There is a new one I was just watching not sure of the name but they say "do you want the money or the mob?" Now that was good. It is kind of like the "Do you want to be a millionaire show".

The amazing race, I do tend to miss this one alot. I like the traveling but I just don't like the reality tv arguing/drama/stategy thing. But it is on my list to watch tomorrow night....Sunday 8pm CBS ch47

Studio60 It is a docu-drama show simulating the filming of SNL and full of dry humor. Wow just found out I can download Ghost Hunters from that site! LOVE that show! We like House too, but it is either on too late or the reception is not very good.

So that brings me to the shows I miss from not having cable.... Ghost Hunters, anything DIY, National geographic, and other Discovery/history/Nature Chanels or shows. But between BlockBuster and Netflix.com we are set.

Netflix.com rocks by the way. I can rent many of the shows that I don't get anymore only no commercials and I have pause and fast forward. (by the way, I'm sticking out my tongue to those of you with DVRs/Tivo you know who you are! I am so jealous!). We are getting caught up on House, Ghost Hunters, and now get to start watching Kratt's, Be the Creature. As well as watching music documentaries. JAZZ, Blues, and Rock&Roll.
Roger just rented this wonderful movie about a woman musician that was deaf but could hear sounds by vibration and is a world renown percussionist. Do I remember her name or the name of the movie...NO! gotta look that one up. Touch the Sound: A Sound Journey with Evelyn Glennie (2005). This is a definate must see - both Madhava and Shraddha loved it.

Almost forgot to mention football. NFL. 49ers Fan here but I also like to follow the Raiders, Broncos, and Chargers (not that I really have time to 'follow' them LOL!) Just about any professional football game is fun for us, sometimes basketball. You won't find me watching baseball unless it is little league!

Our all time favorite shows to watch are American Idol and Rock Star (You have to see their site!). The kids even get into watching those shows.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Counting baby pumpkins



Counting pumpkins…..
Are these little baby pumpkins?
Wow! This little plant is taking off!
6 little ones all together



And an unexpected little bloom! Of course the plants that I didn't plant will grow beautifully! - Well, I had high hopes for that little weed I was watering. LOL!
I believe this is a purple aster. Ok time to get my aster back to folding clothes!

Our Anniversary



Happy Anniversary to US! Three whole years woo-hoo! Time to head back to Yosemite! Wow, how beautiful was that day? It was one of my favorite memories. We even had a coyote come to the ceremony.

Ok… lost in lovely memories …. More blogging later.


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Pumpkins are winning!

Well, at least the varmits haven't found them yet or the pumpkins grow faster then the gophers can eat them. These 3 plants shown here were only planted about a month ago! The leaves are bigger than 2 of Shraddha's heads! These are called Sweetie Pies - cooking pumpkins. But the leaves are different on each plant. One is all green, one is varigated and one is almost white.


Today we have some enormous pumpkin flowers and a little bee buzzing away inside the flower.




Ahh, nice sleeping baby.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Blogging baby pic and blast from the past

Shraddha insists on blogging with me tonight. I have been trying to wait for her to fall asleep but so far it isn't happening before I am too exhausted. I got this cute pic and now I wish I had taken it in a higher resolution because it is such a good pic!

She was so upset when I wasn't home after tucking Madhava into bed and singing night-night songs. Roger says she went to the door and cried Mama Mama Mama for a while before she settled down to watch TV with Daddy. Apparently she was just fine when they all went to Red Robin for dinner. Wonder if she got to have her own bowl of mac & cheese or if she was eating her brother's instead? Last week Madhava was having to share his macaroni and cheese and was sad watching Baby eat it all....., "Oh, I hope she leaves some for me!"

I was having fun rocking out on the drive home. My ears are still ringing from blasting, "Come
Out and Play (Keep 'Em Separated)" by Offspring. You know this song was released 12 years ago?! Man, seems like yesterday I was just blasting this in my dorm room. Way back when WWW didn't really exist and I was typing on a word processor, not a computer. When I was really buff and would roll my eyes at guys asking if I needed help carrying my bike up 3 flights of steps, "Do I look like I need help?" Yes, my bike slept in my dorm-room with me. Way back when I was exhausted trying to keep up with all my reading and homework.... dreaming of the day when there was no more homework. HA HA HA HA!

Now, I'm blogging while nursing my baby, surrounded by piles of homework. At least this isn't the kind of homework that someone else gets credit for after all my hard research. Now I would LOVE if someone noticed that I needed help and offered to help me. My baby sleeps next to me instead of the bike and I enjoy shopping for cloth diapers online. If anyone ever tried to tell me that this is what my life would be like I would have laughed. And I still laugh now knowing that I wouldn't want it any other way.